How to Deal with Angry People

February 13, 2023
Martin (Why We Get Mad), a University of Wisconsin psychology professor, shares strategies for dealing with less than happy people in this useful guide. Anger is on the rise, Martin contends, and while there are many causes, better communication can make interactions with angry people less painful. Martin first digs into the psychology of anger, explaining that it can be triggered by stressful situations or a result of learned responses to conflict. As well, he explains how social biases dictate “who gets to be angry in what way”; women who outwardly express their anger, for example, are seen as “less competent” than men who do the same. Next, Martin offers suggestions for engaging with angry people: it’s important to steer clear of character assaults and unhelpful generalizations such as“You always do this,” which provoke defensiveness. He also recommends entering conversations with a desired outcome in mind, so as to avoid resorting to knee-jerk reactions. Martin backs up his straightforward advice with timely anecdotes, referencing Covid-19 mask disputes and angry commenters in online forums, and breaks down relevant psychological research in a way that’s easily understood by the lay reader. Those looking to better handle the hotheads in their lives should pick this up.