I Am Ace

October 3, 2022
Daigle-Orians (18 Victoria), whose “Ace Dad Advice” project raises visibility of asexuality on social media, delivers a thorough primer on asexuality. The author discusses the basics of asexuality and tells his story of coming out, recounting his inability to describe his sexuality while growing up and coming out as gay as a young adult, and later as asexual after learning about the term on Tumblr. He suggests that having language to describe one’s sexuality can make it easier to build community around those labels, and to that end he explores such “umbrella labels” on the asexual spectrum as “graysexual” (people who rarely experience sexual attraction) and breaks down such smaller “microlabels” as “apothisexual” (people who find sex repulsive). Noting that one can have romance without sex, he outlines alternative relationship models—including consensual nonmonogamy and polyamory—often sought out by asexual people. Daigle-Orians’s frequent use of question-and-answer format (“What if I call myself asexual and find out I’m wrong?”; “When should I tell someone I’m interested in I’m asexual?”) feels like receiving guidance from a compassionate mentor, and readers will appreciate his no-frills, conversational style. This is a welcome addition to the growing literature on asexuality.

December 9, 2022

Having started the Instagram and YouTube Channel "Ace Dad Advice," Daigle-Orians is well-versed in explaining the concepts of asexuality for those who may be unfamiliar or questioning. The book begins with a solid foundation of information about labeling one's sexuality; this section is presented with a comforting, thoughtful tone that will remind readers how complicated exploring one's sexuality can be. He divides asexuality into a variety of categories that are meant to educate everyone regardless of their familiarity, and his experience of being married and asexual provides a unique lens through which to view one's sexuality. The clear definitions, personal experiences, and teaching moments throughout the book are invaluable to people who already identify as asexual, may be questioning, or those who want to be an ally. The best thing the author does is affirm that asexuality is just another human experience, something that anyone will find empowering and uplifting. VERDICT The message of this book is something to be celebrated and will undoubtedly resonate with those who identify as asexual or know someone who does.

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