Error loading page.
Try refreshing the page. If that doesn't work, there may be a network issue, and you can use our self test page to see what's preventing the page from loading.
Learn more about possible network issues or contact support for more help.

The Weight of Zero

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
For fans of 13 Reasons Why and Girl in Pieces, this is a novel that shows the path to hope and life for a girl with mental illness. 
Seventeen-year-old Catherine Pulaski knows Zero is coming for her. Zero, the devastating depression born of Catherine’s bipolar disorder, almost triumphed once; that was her first suicide attempt. 
Being bipolar is forever. It never goes away. The med du jour might work right now, but Zero will be back for her. It’s only a matter of time.
And so, in an old ballet-shoe box, Catherine stockpiles medications, preparing to take her own life before Zero can inflict its living death on her again. Before she goes, though, she starts a short bucket list. 
The bucket list, the support of her family, new friends, and a new course of treatment all begin to lessen Catherine’s sense of isolation. The problem is, her plan is already in place, and has been for so long that she might not be able to see a future beyond it. 
This is a story of loss and grief and hope, and how some of the many shapes of love—maternal, romantic, and platonic—affect a young woman’s struggle with mental illness and the stigma of treatment.
  • Creators

  • Publisher

  • Release date

  • Formats

  • Languages

  • Levels

  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      September 5, 2016
      Debut novelist Fortunati tackles social stigma and mental health realistically and honestly through the candid voice of Catherine Pulaski, a 17-year-old with bipolar disorder. Cath knows that Zero (“mania’s flip side”) will come for her—it always does—but she has a plan. She has been stockpiling and hiding pills so that when the debilitating depression of Zero finally returns, this suicide attempt will be successful, unlike her last one. Before that eventuality, Cath has a bucket list, one that includes losing her virginity and maybe finding a real friend. Cath is required to take part in group therapy after school, and although she initially resists it, she finds a few kindred spirits there; a blossoming romance with a classmate, Michael, also helps provide a sense of normalcy. Fearful of the stigma associated with bipolarity, Cath lies about her diagnosis to her new friends, which leads to complications. Fortunati doesn’t shy away from detailing Cath’s despair but is very clear that with treatment, there is hope. Ages 14–up. Agent: Sara Megibow, KT Literary.

    • Kirkus

      July 15, 2016
      A young woman with bipolar disorder struggles with the ever present specter of crushing depression in this contemporary fiction debut. Incisive, smart, white, 17-year-old Catherine hides whatever spare prescription meds she can get her hands on--no easy feat since her exhausted but dedicated mother carries the whole of their medicine chest around with her at all times after a previous suicide attempt landed Catherine in the hospital. Consumed by guilt over the stress she causes her mom and by hopelessness about the permanence of her disorder, Catherine plans to kill herself once her emotional "zero" returns. However, as she begins a new drug regimen and a therapy group, she finds a kindred spirit in Kristal, a black girl who attends for a binge-eating disorder, and a new romance with Michael, a kind, intelligent, white boy at her school, and hope slowly returns. Catherine's acerbically witty narrative voice is razor sharp and often raw, and the confessional tone of her present-tense narration makes clear how overwhelming her pain is. Secondary characters--particularly her mother, Kristal, and Michael--are also painted with a detailed brush. Michael's loving Italian-American family has its own problems, and Kristal feels immense pressure from her highly successful but also caring parents. An honest, informative, and ultimately optimistic novel about living with mental illness. (Fiction. 14-18)

      COPYRIGHT(2016) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • School Library Journal

      August 1, 2016

      Gr 9 Up-Seventeen-year old Catherine was diagnosed with bipolar disorder soon after her grandmother passed away two years ago. She's struggled with the diagnosis and treatment since then, swinging from manic episodes to deep depressions, which led to her first suicide attempt. Now, her life appears to be more stable, but Catherine knows it is just a matter of time before the depression, or Zero, takes over. She knows what answers to give to her therapist and her mother so they don't suspect, but Dr. McCallum suggests Catherine take part in group therapy, called Intensive Outpatient Program. She meets with the group every week to talk about issues. Catherine goes but feels like Zero could strike at any moment. She doesn't want to end her life without experiencing anything, however, so she starts a list of things she needs to do before Zero takes over. Readers have a front-row seat to the teen's moods, thoughts, and fears. There is talk about sex, drinking, and drugs throughout, along with cutting, bulimia, anorexia, obsessive compulsive disorders, and other possible triggers. Catherine is a believable protagonist surrounded by fleshed-out secondary characters. The pace picks up as Catherine gets more involved in her history project and makes connections at school and in therapy. The author stresses how bipolar disorder can manifest and includes background and resources at the end of the book. VERDICT Recommend to readers who enjoy realistic fiction, want to learn more about bipolar disorder, or have a similar disorder.-Natalie Struecker, Atlantic Public Library, IA

      Copyright 2016 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      September 1, 2016
      Grades 9-12 Catherine knows her emotional level will zero out again and that she'll need to kill herself to ease the pain from her depression. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she feels a nagging hopelessness knowing she'll have to live with the illness all her life, and worries she'll never have friends again. Things gradually begin to improve when a new doctor revises her treatment plan and sends her to an intensive after-school therapy program. There she bonds with Kristal, a lively African American girl with an eating disorder. At school, a history project teams Catherine with Michael, a kind and quiet boy who falls for her. Through these new friendships, hope slowly blossoms for Catherine, whose steady, raw, and smart voice reveals her desire to be well again. Readers will experience small but meaningful victories and epiphanies alongside Catherine and be drawn to the characters of Kristal and Michael. Fans of Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower (1999) and J. J. Johnson's Believarexic (2015) will want to read this debut novel.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)

    • The Horn Book

      January 1, 2017
      Since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, seventeen-year-old Catherine Pulaski lives in fear---Zero- (-mania's flip side- on her zero-to-ten mood scale) is coming. She plans to kill herself; but intensive group therapy, a new drug regimen, and a fascinating school project disrupt her plan. Catherine's first-person narration is smart in its wit and, at times, painfully sharp in its candor about living with mental illness.

      (Copyright 2017 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

    • The Horn Book

      November 1, 2016
      Seventeen-year-old Catherine Pulaski lives in constant fear Zero is coming. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder after her grandmother's death, Cath knows that her cycles between the irrational elation of mania and the crushing emptiness of depression ( mania's flip side, the fucker I call Zero on her zero-to-ten mood scale) are permanent and inevitable, but she has a plan. Before Zero can infiltrate her mind again, Cath intends to kill herself using her assorted collection of prescription meds. But when Cath begins intensive group therapy, a new drug regimen, and a fascinating history project at school, her plan is disrupted. She finds herself connecting with her history partner Michael, an open and sensitive soul; and with Kristal, a beautiful and outgoing girl who has an anxiety-induced eating disorder. Catherine's first-person narration is smart in its wit and, at times, painfully sharp in its candor about living with mental illness. Humorous descriptions of big-ass brouhahas in therapy as well as raw insights into depression's demoralizing effects ring equally true. anastasia m. collins

      (Copyright 2016 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

Formats

  • Kindle Book
  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB ebook

Languages

  • English

Levels

  • Lexile® Measure:740
  • Text Difficulty:3-4

Loading