16 Gifts from a Stepmom

Do you struggle with how to connect with your stepchildren? Do you sometimes fear that you will always feel like an outsider, a stranger? Blended families are not easy. They are always started after a great loss — the loss of the previous family, whether to divorce, breakup or bereavement.

When you come into the picture, you may not be aware of the grief that is still lingering from events in the past. As a stepmom, you want to show that you care, but the barriers seem too great. How can you gain trust? How can you get closer?

First, be willing to look at the losses endured by this family before you came into the picture. Be compassionate. Know that problematic behaviours often have their roots in unresolved grief.

Second, know that you will start off as a stranger, and that is normal. Building relationships take time. It is a process that won't happen in a weekend or even a month. It is a gradual development.

Third, know that you do have a lot to offer as a stepmom, gifts that will slowly build connections and love. Gifts that, in the end, will build a legacy.

Compassion, acceptance, encouragement. Patience, listening, involvement. And don't forget fun! All kids love to have fun, no matter how serious they are! There are sixteen gifts in total that author Sharilee Swaity reminds you that you have to give.

Soak in the love and encouragement from this book. This quick read will be one you revisit when you need to remind yourself that you are making a difference, even when you don't see it.